Road trip: part 1. 5 states. 2 days. 857 miles. 2 stops for gas. 3 stops for food. 1 hotel. 2 pills to sedate the cat. A few tears. Some phone calls. A visit with family in Memphis. A drive through a storm. A lot of podcasts. And now 5 days spent in Altus, Oklahoma. So far so good on the cross country trip to our new home. I am oh so thankful for a couple of weeks of relaxation between the driving. Kevin’s training got a little delayed (because, military life), so we are actually here together for a little over 2 weeks in total. That should help me recover from the 2 days of driving on my own with a [more than anticipated] anxious cat. The road trip started out Saturday morning with about 45 minutes of standstill traffic in downtown Birmingham, and I already could not handle the antsy Gatsby before we even left city limits. Cue pulling over on the interstate and shoving that little pink pill down his throat that I tried to avoid. [Thanks Dr. Murphy!] With a slightly sleepier cat, we were able to make the two day drive together on a more bearable level. A quick stop in Memphis to see Uncle Mike and Danny boosted our morale as well! All in all, we made it to Altus on Sunday afternoon. Gatsby was exhausted, Kevin was thrilled, and I was happy, tired, and then somewhat…empty. Why? I had just spent over 1 week saying countless goodbyes. I spent several days packing the car and cleaning. I had just spent 2 days driving and using so much energy to try and make it safely. I stayed so busy and so focused. And I had not spent any time processing what just happened. It still felt like a vacation or a road trip to which I would return back home. Home being Birmingham, of course. It had not really hit me until that moment that I realized there was no turning back. That I was staying here with my husband, my cat, my belongings. Here in Oklahoma, eventually on our way to “home” in Spokane, Washington. How could Spokane be “home” when I don’t even know what it looks like there? So, of course, I cried. I cried for the goodbyes that I felt like went by too quickly. For the ones I didn't get to say. For my family that I missed so dearly. For the city that I’ve known as home for so long. For the places I would no longer frequent. For my church. For the job that I already missed doing. For the friends I missed seeing. For the things I would miss out on. For the familiarity. For the routine. For almost anything that crossed my mind, I just cried. This didn’t make sense to me when I thought I should be over the moon to finally be with my husband on this journey to our new beginning. I had been looking forward to this, and it just didn't make sense. But what I also realized is that I hadn’t fully let myself give in to these raw emotions of what I guess you could call some sort of grief. Grief of moving on from something old in order to experience something new. Letting things go. Moving on. And not just doing so, but being okay with it. I finally faced these thoughts, fears, emotions, and questions. I finally gave it a good cry and started to embrace the change. And now I can say that I have really been able to relax and enjoy this new season of life. In just 5 days, we have tried several new recipes. I’ve made new friends in the 3 roommates and 2 dogs here. I’ve been to the gym more times this week than I can count in the past 6 months. I’ve set new goals and put on a new attitude. And I’m actually starting to feel like a real married person, finally. In the next week we’ll be closing on our house (remotely), Kevin will be finishing up training, and we’ll be back on the road. Please keep us in your prayers as we have several more days of driving and much more change coming our way. For now, here’s some more pictures from the trip…
2 Comments
|