One week ago today, we were ringing in the New Year - 2017. So much to look forward to, so many goals, ideas, new beginnings, etc...you get the idea. Confession? Week one set a low bar. I spent most of the week stressed. Because if I'm honest with myself, 2017 scares me. Why? Because 2017 brings a lot of change.
For starters, three months from tomorrow I get married. Believe me, I am extremely excited about April 8th and our wedding. But with weddings, comes planning. And with planning, comes decisions, details, and more planning. A sense of urgency hit me on January 1st, and I spent this week over-thinking everything that I have left to do, everything I have already done, and more. To add to the mix, I am also moving in two weeks. Maybe not across the country yet, but nonetheless moving out of my current house. For months I have been going through drawers and closets cleaning out the most ridiculous things that I have held on to. (Seriously, who keeps homework assignments from middle school and movie ticket stubs that you can't even read anymore?!) Anyways. Despite my preparation, I felt the same overwhelming sense of urgency about moving that I did about the wedding. Flash back. The holidays were particularly difficult for me this year. I found myself taking in each moment extra carefully because all I could think about was change. The change in getting married and starting a new life with someone, which means sharing the holidays. The change in moving across the country, which means being far away from friends and family for longer periods of time. The change of quitting a job you love, which means unemployment and excessive free time. I found myself more than willing to participate in family Christmas tree-decorating and cookie-baking this year. I found myself tearing up instead of singing along as my church family sang 'Silent Night' throughout a candle-lit room that I consider home. I found myself staying a little longer, hugging a little tighter, and breathing in a little deeper. Fast forward to this weekend. After an errand-packed, non-stop, stressful, busy week, I was looking forward to spending time with my wonderful fiancé and (of course) completing more items on my never-ending to-do list. Change of plans: Kevin couldn't make the trip to Birmingham due to the roads, and nothing has been checked off of my to-do list. This weekend forced me to slow down. And, I will admit I have been a little bitter about the snow/ice slowing me down. It has kept me inside my house, forcing me to either wallow in self-pity or take the time to reflect and look on the bright side. I did a lot of the first option until tonight. I have been watching too much Netflix, eating left-over Chinese food and peanut butter sandwiches, and feeling sorry for myself. But something inside of me finally stopped worrying about all of the details and the lists and the changes. Yes, change is scary and unknown and different. Yes, I have a lot more change in 2017 than my typical New Year. But, no, change is not the bad thing I've been making it out to be. Change is just uncomfortable, but so is staying the same. Change brings about new opportunities and new growth. So here's to 2017: a new year with much change, many opportunities, and a lifetime of growth!
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