A few weeks ago I was sitting in an unfamiliar, new (bigger than I’m used to) church for only the second Sunday visiting with my husband in this new city that’s now our home. I was sitting there with darting eyes, looking around and trying to scope out the room, the people, etc. without actually looking like I was scoping it all out (we’ve all done that, am I right?) Obviously, I was wishing someone(s) would notice us or speak to us.
[Maybe we can make an acquaintance that might eventually maybe lead to a friend. Because friends are comforting and community is good for the soul, and right now we are lacking in that department here in Spokane. These were the thoughts in my head.] Anyways, I barely heard this quiet voice to my left and tried not to look in case it wasn’t meant for me. But then I heard it again, and this sweet little old lady was standing there and asked us if we might scoot down one chair so that her family of five could fit next to us. 'Oh! Of course we can!' I immediately said, jumping up and feeling silly for ignoring her the first time. And once they sat down, I guiltily thought to myself 'Great, now our row is full and nobody our age is going to talk to us.' Either way, the service already started and I tried to stay hopeful. Just as the opening songs finished, this same sweet little old lady took my hand and said 'Your ring is absolutely gorgeous' then she proudly stuck out her left hand with a giddy smile on her face and said 'Mine is 70 years old!' I told her how beautiful her ring was and how encouraging that was to hear since we had only been married a little over 6 months. She obviously didn’t know me or Kevin or our story or anything that has happened over these past few months. But this sweet lady smiled and told me 'That’s good! I’m happy for y’all…just keep following Jesus!' Just keep following Jesus. The words stuck with me. In that moment she comforted me because she encouraged me and made me feel known. That’s hard to do – to make someone feel known. And she was and is right about this whole marriage thing in her few words. I don’t know her name, and I don’t know that I will ever see her again, but this sweet lady taught me a lot about marriage in the time we sat by each other during a short church service. Her intentional kindness encouraged me to reflect on what marriage means to me, and she will probably never know how important she made me feel in such a lonely, new phase of life. To me, marriage means taking turns getting up early to let the puppy outside and letting the other one sleep in. It means doing the laundry and the cooking and the dishes and taking the trash out all in one day just because you want to let the other one relax. Sometimes it means surprising the other one with cleaning their car or bringing home ice cream. It means making sacrifices with our time and energy for the other one even when we don’t want to. Sometimes it means arguing, and sometimes it means laughing or crying or sitting in silence. It means encouraging one another when one of us feels down, incapable, and insignificant. It means holding each other accountable, practicing forgiveness, trusting each other, challenging each other, and loving each other no matter what. It means being that person, that companion, and that best friend. And man, I am oh so thankful for my partner in life! So even though I feel like we are nowhere near experts in marriage, in selflessness, or in loving one another and loving others together…I’m going to take this woman’s advice and continue to serve and follow Jesus together. Because no one is perfect and marriage isn’t perfect, but if we strive to follow Him then we might end up doing something right. And I hope to be that little old lady in 70 years, proudly showing off my ring to a newlywed couple and giving them this same advice.
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